rediscover | ryslig

[She feels terrible. She wants to steer the conversation around at the last minute, to go towards something more lighthearted. But... but if Anna is really dealing with the most unsavory part of being a monster, she has to be there for her sister. It's part of Elsa's job as a big sister, and she loves Anna too much to let her suffer with that cloud with just Lorna and Rohan.]

Since I arrived here, I've... talked to people. Other monsters. They've helped fill in some things I didn't know when I talked to you, and answered some other questions I've had. [It doesn't seem that bad, but Elsa's gaze is dropped down towards her mug, focusing intently on the cocoa inside.] They... they've told me about how monsters need to sustain themselves.

[It's not exactly an easy conversation, but Anna came into this thinking she was about to get a Talk from Elsa, so really things could be worse. Still, she feels herself grow a little colder when her sister explains exactly what it is she wants to discuss.]

Oh. Right. I...I'm sorry, Elsa. I should have told you about it right away, I know, it's just—

[Anna's fingers ball up into nervous fists on the countertop.]

I didn't want to scare you, or make you think that I was...bad, somehow, for having to do what I've done.

[... Okay, the focusing on her mug thing isn't working. With something like this, there can't... there can't be any kind of distance between them. So just like when she first arrived, when she tried so hard to show Anna that she wasn't afraid of her new form, she sets her mug down and reaches out, covering Anna's hands with her own. She doesn't try and pry her fists loose, instead just gently running her thumbs along Anna's fingers, hoping to calm her down even a little.]

Anna-- no, this isn't about how I feel about it. [Which is.... kind of a lie. She's terrified of it. That night she'd been sick because she woke up from some pretty vivid nightmares. But she's not the focus here, nope. She needs to focus on Anna.] I'm scared, yes. But not because of what you might have to do. You... you can't help it, right?

[Asaka had said that they had to hunt, or else they slowly lost control of themselves and hunted and killed without thought. It sickens her that Anna has to kill to survive, but it's even worse to think that Anna might turn into a real monster if she tries to fight it.]

I'm scared for you. That you have to do such things....

[It helps, every time Elsa closes the distance between them; it helps Anna feel like she's normal, like nothing's changed between them. It's remarkable how much you don't realize you need something like that until you actually do. Her fingers relax a little bit under Elsa's hands, and she shakes her head.]

N...no. I can't help it. We all have to do it, or else...or else we'll lose our minds.

[Her stomach is churning; she hates thinking about it almost as much as she hates doing it. She can't imagine ever finding joy in hunting and killing humans for food.]

It's okay. It's...hard, but I do what I have to. I try to...to find people that maybe aren't the nicest. That makes it a little easier.

[Elsa can understand that feeling very well. Their situations may be a bit different now, but she can still remember the aftermath of her coronation... how for so long, she told herself she needed to keep her distance. How some days she could fool herself into believing she was okay with it. But that hug, when Anna's curse had been lifted.... that had done so much for her that she still can't even fully describe how she'd felt back then.

It's why she tries so hard to reach out to Anna now, to give her some physical anchor to focus on in times like this. Elsa may not be very good at the whole touchy-feely thing again, but she knows she has to be for Anna.]

That's... [It's hard to say better, or good, or anything like that, because no matter what, Anna is still being forced to kill people. But it's a less worse.] I'm glad. I mean, I knew you would never be able to hurt an innocent person, but... since this is something you're forced to do, I'm glad you're trying to find a way to make it.... less awful.

[Elsa isn't blind, she knows there are many awful people out there in the world. This place probably isn't any better. While she doesn't necessarily agree that some of those people deserve to die... ugh. This is all giving her a headache.]

When the time comes for me to... to start eating like that... I hope I can help you.

[Anna resumes chewing at her lip, looking worried and a little bit tired.]

The first time...I was so hungry, and I wasn't in control quite yet...I hurt someone innocent. It was an accident. But Susan and I both fed off him, and I made sure he got a proper burial. I felt so terrible, Elsa, I hadn't meant for it to go that way at all. So ever since then I've tried to make things right, the best that I can.

[It's not easy, per se, but it's easier. It helps.]

We can hunt together, if you want. We can both feed off one...kill. We can help each other.

[Her poor, poor sister... at that, Elsa will just. Stand up from her spot on the opposite side of the table and cross over to Anna's side, and without missing a beat she pulls her in for a tight hug.]

I'm so sorry, Anna... [Hurting innocent people is something that hangs over you like a shadow, and the feeling's so hard to get rid of. The times where she hurt Anna still hang heavy over Elsa, and even when she'd almost killed the Duke's guards.... she could argue it was self-defense, and she's sure some people wouldn't blame her for her actions, but she still feels terrible.] I have no doubt you've tried to do the best you can. That's just... how you are. No amount of transformations could ever change that.

[She tries to smile, but it's pretty halfhearted. Kind of hard to smile during this sort of conversation, yeah?]

I think that might be best. That way we don't... we don't have to target as many people.

[Anna lets Elsa pull her into a hug, nestling her leafy head against her sister's shoulder. She's tried her hardest to keep a positive outlook about the whole thing, to tell herself that it wasn't her fault, but it's not the same as hearing it straight from Elsa's mouth. As knowing that Elsa doesn't blame her, either.]

Thank you. I think...I needed to hear that. From you.

[She manages a meager smile to match Elsa's.]

Exactly! And that way we'll both feel a little less guilty and weird about it.

[Elsa could never blame Anna for any of that. If anyone's to blame, it's that Fog God, the one who brought all of them here and turned them into monsters in the first place. She'd tried her best to be respectful when Rohan talked about the god, but seeing how torn up Anna's been over all of this... yeah. That's unforgivable.]

I'll tell you all of that again as many times as I have to. Whenever you need it.

[She thinks a lot of big thoughts on protecting Anna and making sure she's safe, but at the same time... she also has to be Anna's support. She has to be there for her in moments like this, too.]

I don't know if I could feel less guilty about having to do that... but I think it might be more bearable.

[Anna looks visibly grateful for Elsa's avowal of support. That's likely something she'll always seek from her: support and approval. It's important as they rebuild their relationship and work on being sisters again.]

That's why you're the best!

[She nods.]

That's probably a better way of putting it. You know me, I'm not great with the words and the talking...

[No, Anna, you're great at talking. You're just awkward. It's fine.]

I'm only doing for you what you've been doing for me since my coronation. Even before that, come to think of it.

[Even if Anna didn't know about what was going on in those thirteen years of isolation, hearing her talking at Elsa's door and hoping they can go out and play soon... that helped. As much as Elsa didn't want to admit it, it probably helped more than their father's attempt at getting her to control her magic.

That gets... kind of a laugh out of Elsa. There's still the serious air around them, but that comment is making it better.]

Oh, you're good enough! You just don't bother with all those big, stuffy-sounding words... I think that's a much better way of speaking.

Well...what are sisters for?

[She'd always hoped, all those years, that Elsa could hear her. That she was getting through to her sister, despite the silence from the other side of the door. That her sister was listening and at least knew that Anna loved her and missed her.

Now, she's a little more sure of that.

Anna chuckles, and it feels good to eat least break some of that tension.]

Well, if you say so...! Although I might certainly begin soliloquizing as I ruminate upon the magnificent sight of a chocolate cupcake. You never know.

[There's a moment when Elsa just stares at Anna, but the moment is broken when she just snorts, and breaks out into a peal of laughter.]

Anna, you goof!

[She's not surprised that Anna can bust out words like that, hell no. They had the same lessons and devoured the same books when they were growing up, so Elsa's always known that Anna is way more intelligent than some people might think. But it's just...!]

Of course you pick chocolate of all things to speak so eloquently about...

[Anna barely lasts longer than Elsa does before she dissolves into helpless giggles. It feels so good to laugh with her sister, to make Elsa laugh. If anyone deserves to laugh, it's her.]

Well—what else deserves it? Lorna, definitely, I mean obviously, but chocolate? Well, I know you can appreciate it, too!

[Especially after such a tense conversation, it really does feel good. Elsa's so used to negative things hanging over her in a cloud for so long, it's truly refreshing to have it all just... pushed away thanks to some well-timed joking.]

Oh, I can absolutely understand! But that doesn't make you any less of a goof.

[She reaches up, gently (because really she's not sure how sturdy Anna's new "hair" is??? they are just leaves right??) ruffling her sister's leaves.]

An incredibly sentimental goof. You're a dangerous combination, Anna.

[Anna laughs and ducks her head; her leaves stand up to Elsa's ruffling just fine, and Elsa might actually notice that a few of them are beginning to turn yellow-orange at the tips. Her sunflowers have almost all died and fallen off, but there are the beginnings of some different flower buds shooting up above her bangs.]

I'll accept it. I mean, you're not really wrong. But who knows, Elsa? Maybe you'll meet someone here who turns you into a sentimental goof, too...

[She waggles her eyebrows suggestively. Anna would love nothing more than to find her sister a special someone.]

I'm not so sure about that...

[Elsa laughs again, but this time it's... a little more awkward. She's never really thought about anything like that - never let herself think about it. For so much of her life she's had to keep a barrier between herself and others, so even when she had grown into her teenage years and indulged a bit in the grand romantic stories in the castle's library, she never really imagined that happening to her. She could barely even touch another person in all those years of isolation, what hope did she have for any kind of romance?

Of course there was also her duties as queen, and how it was expected of her to marry at some point, but that's just a whole other set of baggage.]

I doubt I'll have the same luck you do.

That's okay! I'm sure enough for the both of us!

[She gives Elsa a bolstering grin.] After all, there are zillions of people here! There's got to be someone who'd make a good match for you. You're kind, and beautiful, and super smart! Any guy would be so lucky to have you!

[Or girl. Not that Anna says that aloud, but she's thinking it. Who knows?]

[There are many things that can be considered infectious when they come from Anna. Laughing, silliness, general happiness and excitement? Sure, those are totally infectious! But self-esteem? That's.... that's not really something Elsa can get from anyone. Her self-esteem is pretty shaky even on good days, so it's hard for her to really get it from anyone.

... Besides, she just. Doesn't really feel anything at Anna's encouragement that a guy would be lucky to have her. Huh.]

Well... we'll see, I suppose. [She doesn't sound entirely convinced, even as she says it.] I never thought we'd be kidnapped by some mysterious god and dropped into a strange land where we turn into monsters, so the idea of finding... someone shouldn't be outside the realm of possibility either.

[Though that would sort of complicate things, wouldn't it? She has responsibilities back home in Arendelle that Anna doesn't, when it comes to partnering up with someone...]

[Anna can sense that Elsa isn't exactly as into the whole idea as she is, and it makes her excitement die down to a more acceptable level.]

Exactly! That's exactly right. But—hey, if not, if you're not into the whole thing, well, that's okay, too!

[She gives Elsa's arm a squeeze.]

I don't want to force you to do anything you're not a hundred percent on board with!

... To be honest, I'm not sure if I'm into it or not.

[It's probably just because she prevented herself from thinking about it for so many years. Maybe if she allows herself to be open to the idea she'll feel better about it?? Feelings are weird, man.]

But believe me, if I ever start feeling something for someone else, you'll be the first person I tell. I promise.

[Whoops. Did she make this awkward? She's pretty sure she made it awkward.]

Well...good! I better be the first. If it happens. So I can make sure they're good enough for you!

[It's a little awkward, but not... bad-awkward? This is just stuff that Elsa hasn't really thought about.

She doesn't dwell on it though, instead laughing at Anna's words. It's just so... typical.]

Fine. But just remember, I fully approved of Lorna before you introduced me to her, so there's no judgement you can use against me if that time comes.

[Anna thinks about that for a moment, and then breaks into a sheepish grin.]

Okay, that's...that's fair. I guess. I'll hold off on deciding until I've met this hypothetical wooer!

It's absolutely fair.

[She reaches up to playfully pinch Anna's cheek at that emphasis, but she follows that up with a much less stinging boop on the nose.]

But in all seriousness... I do trust your judgement, Anna. [Even if she didn't like Hans - and boy had she been right about that, though she'd never dream of rubbing it in Anna's face - that was more just because of how fast Anna rushed into it. Not because she felt Anna was a bad judge of character.] And I trust that you'll be upfront and tell me if something is bothering you about any potential suitors.

[Is that what they're called here??? if things aren't all formal??? she just doesn't know]

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